You did everything right. So why doesn't it feel that way?
Most of the men Dr. Jaffe sees have the career, the income, and the family they worked for, and still feel worn down in a way a vacation doesn't fix. The free 48-Question Stress Pattern Snapshot looks at that through eight common stress patterns. It shows which ones come up most in your answers and how they may be affecting the way you work, rest, and connect with people.
Take the Free Stress Pattern SnapshotFree, takes 10 to 15 minutes, and your results appear on screen when you finish. It's a self-reflection tool, not a diagnosis.
Robert B. Jaffe, PhD, LMFT, CHt. Psychotherapist on Ventura Boulevard in Encino since 1984.
Eight ways a capable man carries more than he shows.
Each of these usually starts early, as a sensible way to handle pressure, and works for years. Then the cost starts showing up in your sleep, your marriage, or your temper. Most men recognize two or three right away.
- Hyper-Driven ResponderHas trouble stopping, even when there's nothing left to do.
- Self-Reliant IsolatorWould rather handle it alone than ask for help.
- Overthinking ProtectorKeeps scanning for what could go wrong.
- Approval SeekerFeels he has to keep earning his place.
- Emotional ContainerLooks calm and carries a lot that no one sees.
- Conflict AvoiderGives ground to keep the peace.
- Pressure AbsorberTakes on everyone else's problems as his own.
- Guarded ControllerFeels safest when he controls the outcome.
The Snapshot scores all eight from your answers and shows which are strongest, which are present in the background, and where they overlap.
See your patternsWhat you get when you finish
48 questions about six areas of your life, each answered on a scale of 1 to 4. Your results appear as soon as you submit.
- Your top three patterns, rankedEach one named, with how strongly it showed up in your answers
- A plain-English description of your strongest patternWhat it tends to look like day to day, and what it may be protecting
- All eight patterns side by sideSo you can see where they overlap
You'll enter your first name and email to see your results. Dr. Jaffe doesn't review Snapshot results; they're for your own reflection.
Your Stress Pattern Snapshot
Emotional Container
Highest-scoring pattern in your answersYour answers suggest a tendency to stay composed on the outside while carrying a lot on the inside. This pattern can shield the people around you from your stress, and it can also keep them from knowing what you're dealing with.
Scores out of 24. The Snapshot is a proprietary self-reflection tool based on your own answers. It is not a clinically validated test or a diagnosis.
If you want to go further
The Snapshot is free and ends with your results. Nobody will call you, and plenty of men stop there.
If you want help making sense of what you saw, there are three paid assessments. Each is longer, comes with a written report, and includes a private review with Dr. Jaffe. Most men start with the Pattern Decoder: 60 items, a written report, and a 30-minute call to go over it and choose one place to start.
Forty years with one kind of client.
Dr. Jaffe has been a licensed psychotherapist in Encino since 1984. Most of his clients are executives, founders, physicians, and attorneys: men who are good at their work, respected by the people around them, and tired from holding it all together.
The eight patterns in the Snapshot come from that work. They're the ways he has watched men handle stress again and again, written down so a man can recognize himself in about fifteen minutes.
In sessions he uses Multi-Dimensional Relational Therapy (MDRT), an approach he developed with Dr. Mitra Rashidian. It combines trauma-informed psychotherapy, Ericksonian hypnotherapy, guided journaling, and practical tools for settling yourself under stress. Which ones he uses depends on the client.
PhD · Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, California #19513 · Certified Ericksonian Hypnotherapist · In practice since 1984
Two books, forthcoming
Prefer to start with therapy?
If you already know you want to talk with someone, you can skip the assessments and request a consultation. Dr. Jaffe takes a small number of individual clients.
Sessions are in person in Encino or by video anywhere in California, on weekdays with a few evening openings. You go week to week, with no long-term commitment. Dr. Jaffe is out of network and provides superbills you can submit to your insurance.
Request a Therapy ConsultationThe 48-Question Stress Pattern Snapshot and the paid assessments are proprietary, educational self-reflection tools based on your own answers. They are not clinically validated tests, a medical or psychological diagnosis, a treatment recommendation, or an emergency service. Taking an assessment does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you are in crisis, call 988 or 911. Individual therapy is available to California residents. See the privacy policy for how your name and email are handled.